3 to 33 to 10

Three months has zoomed by and I can't believe we are in November!

Not to mention I am 33 years old today! Ack. That feels old, but at the same time it doesn't feel old at all. I'm married, with a family, a good job and a fairly good life.

But back to the most important part of this blog, the baby! He will be ten months old tomorrow and my has he changed. My little ten month old is so different from my 6 month old. He has literally blossomed from a grumpy, sourpuss into a cheerful, giggly, smiley, never stops moving, much easier to handle little boy.

He is officially a walker. He started to take his first few steps around 9 months and a few weeks later was full on walking around the house. He falls all over, but that hasn't deterred him. He is definitely a determined little dude.

Here is my son in bullet point form:

• He sleeps. 
• He doesn't like to nap much, but he does give us a full nights sleep here and there. And when he doesn't, he is usually up only once and then back down again. (knock on wood!) 
• He loves books. He can't get enough of them. I'm amazed at how easy he can kill time with his books.
• He is not a babbler. (unlike his mom)
• He loves noise makers, smashing two toys together to make noise. 
• He loves to bang on laptops and computers. 
• He knows what skype is and does. 
• He hates shoes, and tries to eat his socks.
• When he is done, he is done. Meaning if we are out at a playdate and he is ready for home - he immediately shuts down and throws a baby smackdown of tears. 
• But, he is finally an easier baby to read. 
•  He is a total joy. 
• He can be the biggest turd when he wants to.
• He could not be more loved by his grandparents
• He could not be more loved by his parents

I go back to work in about 6 weeks and I am dreading it. To leave my poor little baby at daycare is not something I'm looking forward to. I mean, on one hand I am looking forward to returning to work and trying to balance out wife, mom and career. But on the other hand I am finally starting to really enjoy being with him all day and now I get to relinquish that to someone else.

Did I mention he's being left with strangers! That freaks me out a bit too. I am comfortable with the home daycare we chose, but still.

My little baby is growing.

oh happy days

Life is just moving along quite nicely. Timothy is getting more and more fun each and every day. He has really grown out of his cranky-pants colic and is blossoming into quite the little dude. And each day I discover little idiosyncrasies about him. Just last night I saw how ticklish he was when I dried under his armpits. He let out one of those distressed giggles that as a fellow ticklish person remember. It's funny, it's ticklish, but at the same time it's uncomfortable and as much as you are giggling, you just want the tickling to stop!

He has started crawling and scooting all around. Of course the second I pull out the camera to videotape this new skill he immediately stops and looks at me as if to say "what the heck ma.....". And I am pretty sure he is doing it on purpose. What a sneak!

Next week we take our first plane ride to see the Newfie side of the family. It is exciting. Tim will get to meet so many people who already love him and his chunky legs and I know they can't wait to get their hands on him for oodles of hugs, kisses and snuggles. I am looking forward to some very long day-time naps!

Life right now is good. I have very few complaints, which is unlike me! My day is filled with so many more good moments than challenging ones, my son is turning a new leaf...if only he'd sleep through the night!

Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Six months ago I experienced instant unconditional love.
Six months ago I embarked on a very new, overwhelming journey known as motherhood.
Six months ago I met the most beautiful tiny, little, squirmy, baby boy.
Six months ago I had a terrifying moment that still can bring tears to my eyes if I let my mind wander to that moment.
Six months ago I learned that every plan you can make for labour and delivery means nothing.
Six months ago I learned that a poopy diaper does actually bring happiness! Even today.
Five months ago I learned that one should never take advantage of sleep and how wonderful and glorious it truly is! For all non-parents...sleep. Sleep!
Five months ago I learned that boys can leak through a lot of diapers, so be careful when changing them.
Four months ago I learned what colic was.
Four months ago I cursed colic. I still curse colic.
Four months ago I realized how unfair life is when all my friends/family had angel babies and I had a devil baby. Ok, not a devil baby. I mean colicky baby. (maybe 1% devil)
Three months ago I learned that colic lasts a long time.
Three months ago I learned that my baby Does. Not. Sleep. Ever.
Two months ago I learned that colic eventually ends. After about 14 weeks.
Two months ago I learned why moms love their babies so much (see colic ending)
One month ago I learned that the tiniest of things can make me the most proud mom ever.
One month ago I would have told you that sitting up was like the hardest thing ever. (today it's crawling)
One month ago I cringed thinking my son might bite me now that he has two teeth. I was wrong.
One month ago I couldn't believe five months had already passed. Time is flying by.
Today I can't believe six months has passed.
Today I can't believe how badly I feel for my in-pain-teething little boy.
Today I try to enjoy every single moment with Timothy as I feel like it will all be over before I know it.
Today my day is made better by every smile, gurgle and spit noise.
Today I secretly enjoy that my baby reaches out for me when he is in daddy's arms.
Today I count my blessings as I have a happy, healthy, stubborn, strong-willed, spirited, most amazing son.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow I will continue to wish that my son would sleep.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow I will continue to wish that he grows to have the most wonderful life
Yesterday, today and tomorrow I will continue to love this boy more than he will ever know.

Happy 5 Month-a-versary....

5 months old. I can't believe that we have almost hit the half-a-year mark. Timothy is 5 months old today. It feels like I could write the longest blog post ever, but at the same time I don't know where to start and most days I barely have time to actually sit at a computer to write a full blog post. Facebook statuses...yes, those are one sentences....a full blogpost...not so much.

My little man is so full of personality. As I write this he and I are locked in an epic battle of nap #2 today. I won for nap #1 at 9:30am...took me 30 minutes.....he is currently down for a nap #2 which is a first in gosh, I don't know...since he was a newborn! But I'm determined to win this sleep-war...for once! He is a fighter. Of course I should of known that considering how he came into the world and how the nurses kept calling him feisty....even at a couple of days old those baby experts could see what we were in for. But he battles naps and nighttime sleep like a warrior. He is spirited, stubborn, strong willed and full of emotion! And just today I saw a sprout of his first tooth. I've heard it can "retract" and reappear before it officially stays put, but our little man is now a teether.

A teether and a sitter. Last week he sat for the first time unassisted. As witnessed on skype by his Nanny. One thing I will note is it is amazing how proud and happy I was for that little moment. It was when he first rolled over as well. Small things that seem like feats for him and I just beam and gush and tell him that he is just awesome. We've slowly started solids. And I mean slowly. He's chewed on a few peppers- and I don't know if it's because he likes them or if because the cold pepper makes his teething gums feel better, but he sure goes to town on them. He has had some sweet potatoes and some pears, both seemed to have been a huge success. Just yesterday I was eating raspberries and we lunged for one, so I gave him one. Verdict? Apparently not tasty one bit. He got the most sour look on his face and spit it out. It was so cute, I had to give him another one just so I could see the face again!

I think I'm that mom. You know...THAT mom that will love every flower, picture and mud pie that her son makes for her. One that will tell him he's a superstar when he can say his first word and tell myself he's a genius when he can finally clap his hands together. That's right, the annoying mom who thinks her kid is the bees knees.....

And for the most part he IS the bees' knees. But I am also a realist.... he is a grumpy, loud, highly sensitive, particular little dude who isn't a fan of lots of people or crowds. He is really kind of like a grouchy old man. But he's MY grouchy old-man baby.

Here he is in his new stroller...looking all dapper and happy as he is out of the car seat attachment and sitting like a big boy!

I hope the next five months go by a little slower so I can really enjoy each little moment with him because it is all going so fast.

Four down!

Sigh. Blogging takes time.

Time I seem to finding a harder and harder time finding. Timothy has now hit four months. Unbelievable. My little man is (well, for one, not so little)...but he is four months old!

In the last few weeks it seems as if he has turned a baby corner. He is no longer a cranky, colicky, fussy and grumpy little boy. He's just cranky and grumpy. Not all of the time, but he is still a bit of a serious dude. But in all his grumpiness and crankiness, he is the most handsome little guy with the most adorable smile and infectious laugh. He brings so much joy to our lives, even though the first 100 days (or three months) as the doctor told us were "100 days of hell" - we got through it and motherhood is now actually something that I can enjoy! What a different baby. His true colours are shinning through and they are beautiful.

Mama's Little Boy

Couldn't resist sharing! I am afraid I might be one of those mothers who raises a mama's boy...can one know that when he's not even four months old yet?

I shower him in kisses and hugs and I run to him when he cries and scoop him up in my arms. He gets me every time. I am running less and less quickly to him, but nonetheless, I always go to him. I am not at all a fan of "ferberizing" my kid, which is the "cry it out method" that every one my parents and grandparents generation encourages. I am of the mindset that the only way this little dude knows how to communicate is through crying...although now he gurgles and coos and laughs. But with all the problems we had early on, he is often in pain and if a comforting hug is all I can do to let him know I'm here, then I'll do it.

Bollocks to crying it out! This mama bear is more of an "attachment parenting" type. Cuddles, hugs and security building trust. I'm a firm believer that at three months, he isn't quite at the point of manipulating his mama yet....that will come later and then I can choose to let him fake-cry it out all he wants!

Although as I write this, he's been moaning and whining in his jumper-toy for the last five minutes.

Time to go!

A letter to Tim

Dear Timothy,

I can't believe you've been with us for three months. The time is flying by. We had quite the rough start you and I. With your exciting, but terrifying delivery - you've continued to keep me on the edge of my seat.  At about 3 weeks old you developed pretty nasty colic and cried for up to six hours a day....every day. Nothing could console you, I would hold and rock you and snuggle you as best I could, but some days all I could do was cry right along with you. The worst feeling in the world is knowing that you were in pain and knowing that I couldn't do anything about it. Many doctor visits later and I was repeatedly told that you will eventually grow out of it and while it will be a hard road, we just had to wait it out together.

And so we did. Together we took on each day and worked through the colic spells, the gas pains and the constant discomfort. You were my sensitive little grumpy boy who had a mind of his own and wasn't going to let any "baby guidelines" dictate how you would be. Two episodes of you stopping breathing nearly pushed me over the edge, but you were just making sure I was paying attention....you little sneaker.

You hated swaddling, you hated being in the cradle position, a lot of times you didn't want to be held. But as you grew, so did your personality. You are loud and are sure to be heard, you don't cry, you scream, you have a feisty spirit that while can be exhausting, will serve you well when you are older. You won't be a doormat to anyone!

And today, three months after I brought you home, I couldn't love you more. You are adorable and have an infectious smile that lights up a room. You are the happiest in the early mornings and you love to be sans clothes in all your naked glory. You have started to gurgle and coo and talk the only way you know how and I get tons of smiles from you each day.

You still get your gas pains and cry out in discomfort, but we do our best to work through them and you now let mommy hold and comfort you and snuggle you. A corner has been turned and your dad and I are excited for the next chapter of your very early life.

My sweet, sweet Timothy. We love you and adore you and are so proud that we were picked as your parents in this life.

Much love,
Mum

Clearing out the Dust Bunnies....

Where has the time gone? I have been a horribly lax blogger with minimal updates!

Timothy is a few days shy of reaching three-months old! We have already had an interesting ride. The colic is finally subsiding and it has made a noticeable difference around here. He is having much better days (and nights), while it isn't always great, but it is so much better! He is turning into a smiley little man. We recently started giving him acid-reflux medication which has helped with his constant spitting up and discomfort.

Although I am starting to wonder if it all just is one happy coincidence. Is he just getting older and therefore his digestive system is maturing which is phasing out the colic and the acid reflux medication is really doing nothing? I am not sure, but I don't plan on stopping!

It is still hard to fathom that we've been a parental unit for three months. It has gone by so fast, even with the hours and hours of crying (every day!), it has still zoomed by!

I will post some pictures soon!

Two-Four-Six-Eight

Timothy is eight weeks old and a couple days. A full two months. Wow. It doesn't feel that long at all. Although the colic has definitely made things a bit more challenging and the days have seemed quite long. I envy parents who have babies that don't cry 6+ hours a day at different intervals, or babies who can be soothed by a quick snuggle or a snack at the boob or bottle. We had a bit of a rough week last week as the husband was out of town and I was flying solo.

However, My parents were here all day Thursday and part of Friday and that was a big help. It was nice just to a) have the company and b) have someone to entertain him, walk with him or try to soothe him (other than myself). Plus, since they don't see him that often, they want to hold him all the time.  My dad definitely has some "baby whisperer" in him...but actually I think he just has the patience to just hold a shrieking baby and wait out his crying spell. It showed me that I need to be more patient and be a little less bothered by his colic and realize there isn't much I can do so to just wait it out with him.

Here is a picture of him and I taken yesterday before we brought him to his first church service. He didn't exactly stay quiet through the whole thing, but the husband took him into the lobby area where they stream the service and walked and rocked with him.

Here is a look at our turtlebug!

Special Valentine x 2

This is a special Valentine's Day as I get to expand my number of Valentine's from one to two. And boy is my littlest and most special Valentine ever got a hold of my heart.

The K & S household is experiencing some challenging times right now. We think baby Tim has colic, as he is definitely showing some of the signs of colic. The constant crying - especially in the late afternoon - early evening is hard to handle. There doesn't seem to be much that soothes him and he cries non-stop and it is a very excited and intense cry. I am at a loss as to what to do, I've scoured the internet looking at mommy forums trying to get as many ideas as I can in dealing with it. I know there isn't much you can do and they don't know why some babies are colicky and others are not, I just wish there was something I could do to calm the little guy down.

It's been at least a week that he's had these crying spells and the doctor tells me that colic is diagnosed when the baby hits the 3 signs. 3 hours of crying at least 3 times a week for three weeks. I think we're in week two of these signs, so I'm now timing the crying and times of days to really determine if it's colic so  I can give the doctor some concrete examples to get him properly diagnosed. While I know there is no cure for colic, I want to just rule out anything else that it could or might be.

Sometimes his cries sound so pained or almost like he's scared. It's a panicked cry that just breaks my heart.

But even with all that, the crying, the lack of sleep, the constant spit up - when he gives me those gummy smiles and lays his head on my shoulder to settle down (when he does settle), my heart melts and I seem to forget those insane afternoons and long nights...for the briefest of moments the day is perfect.

He's my perfect little Valentine.

So today I am thankful for both my Valentines. My husband who comes home and immediately asks what he can do for me, knowing I've been consumed in all things baby. A husband who will get up in the middle of the night to change his diaper to give me a few extra minutes of sleep before a feeding. A husband who is so involved in our son's life - I can't imagine doing this without him.

I am so thankful for my two special guys.

One (mois)

One month today.  I hope to be able to update this blog at least once a week. Timothy is officially one month old.

Only 11 more to go before I have to head back to work. Thank god for Canada's healthcare system - I can't imagine having to go back to work so soon as some of my American friends have to do.

This week was quite emotional for me. On Thursday I went to our family doc for some concerns I was having as a result of my episiotomy...turns out I might have to be re-sliced and diced and stitched up. I am not looking forward to that. Not one bit. But while at the doc's office I just pointed out that I thought Tim's belly button looked "weird". It turned into a full check with another doctor being brought in and then us being immediately sent to the Emergency Department of our city's Children's Hospital for a hernia check. And the doctor uttered one word no new mom wants to hear "surgery".

I shed a number of tears in her office, in the car on the way to get my husband, on the phone with my mom and on the way to the Hospital. Two doctor's checked him out and didn't think it was a hernia, but our family doctor seems quite shocked that they didn't diagnose it as she suspected. So I think we are on belly-button watch.

Here's a pic of the little guy who is finally not screeching when he's put in his swing. He doesn't stay there for long, but he seems to enjoy it for the brief amount of time that he's in there.

What a cutie. His cuteness makes up for it when he's up every 2.5-3hrs in the night for a feed...I really need to try to work out a solid 3 to 4 hr routine for daytime and nighttime.

Here is hoping!

Three Weeks Old

While I used to be counting weeks of pregnancy, I'm now counting weeks of Tim's life. Today he is three weeks old. It seems like he's been here longer, but at the same time I'm equally shocked that he's already three weeks.

He is changing so much. He looks like a different baby than the one I brought home. And boy does he have a personality. He loves to be held up high and look around. I don't think he focuses on much, but he already has good use of his head...he loves to be rocked and bounced around. While he still frustrates easily if he can't latch to eat - he then pushes the breast away but roots like crazy for it.

His hands are his greatest comfort. He always has them in his face. He sleeps with them right up to his cheeks, he eats with them under his chin (which doesn't make breastfeeding the most comfortable). And what an eater! We went to the lactation consultant yesterday because Timothy has a tendency to never burp but will spit up with a force that is beyond a little dribble. And he has some bad gas pains, where his face scrunches right up. The lactation specialist weighed him and he is quite the eater and a chunker. He has gained 2 pounds in a little over 2 weeks. She said not to worry about the burping and that at only 3 weeks old he will learn to not guzzle like a frat boy and that will ease his gas pains.

Here he is at 3 weeks old. Legs and arms scrunched up. What a cutie. I adore him.

Aftermath & Welcome

Hello world,

The husband and I welcomed a son on January 5th, 2012 at 10:17pm. Timothy Blair was born tipping the scales at 7lbs, 2oz. His middle name is after my Dad - who is an important person in my life, so I was happy to share the namesake with my firstborn.

I ended up having to be induced, and once the medication was flowing, labour came quite quickly from what I've heard from the doctors. Having never given birth, I couldn't tell you, but the reaction of the nurses and on-call doctor was that it moved very quickly. From the breaking of my water to Timothy entering into the world we had just over 3 hours.

It was quite terrifying for us. During labour Timothy had a strong heartbeat and everything seemed to be going well (aside from my epidural wearing off!) And then, as he started to crown, the doctor called for the Respiratory Therapist to be paged to come to our delivery room. Our little guy had his umbilical cord wrapped not once, but twice around his neck and had inhaled meconium. When the little tugboat emerged there was no sound, no cry - no shriek that all mothers hope to hear. He had no vital signs. The RT came in and there was a hush in the back of the room as 6 people tended to my baby.

Nothing was scarier, it was terrifying.

I was a wreck. Timothy was whisked away to the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and I was left on the hospital bed to be take care of by the nurses and doctor. The tears wouldn't stop flowing. My husband was able to go back and forth to the NICU to see how he was doing, but I was helpless as I lay there waiting for news and praying for a positive outcome.

By the grace of God and a fantastic staff and a wonderful RT who pumped oxygen to Timothy for over an hour, our little guy yelped out a pathetic scream saying 'what the heck'. I wasn't there, but I can imagine it was the greatest sound in the world. He spent the first night in the NICU and was closely monitored by the nurses there. 4 hours later I still hadn't held him or seen him.

Finally I was able to see my son. And he was perfect.

I am so thankful every day for this little guy. He is the most yummy, adorable baby ever. And he already has a personality. He frustrates easily if he can't latch for his feeding, but once he's on, he gulps like a champ. He loves to be held and snuggle and I'm pretty sure adores his Daddy. And his Dad and I couldn't be happier.

We are that more complete.

Welcome to the world my son.

Change of Mind.....

Hello little Stringbean,

You know how  three days ago I said that we'd patiently wait for you to come when you're good and ready.

I lied!

Hurry up and get your little wrinkled, chubby self here.

I will be heading to the doctor's tomorrow and we will most likely be discussing induction dates. Apparently, it came to light through a friend, that while an induction date can be "picked", the hospital calls you that day to give you the go-ahead. So it's really just a wish-date - if the labour and delivery department is too swamped with emergencies or pregnant ladies, they will call you another day.

That only means one thing. More waiting.

We are almost at 41 weeks. 41 long weeks.

I'm told the docs won't let us go longer than 10 days late...and tomorrow makes lucky number 6. So we should be able to say with certainty that we will meet you in 4 days.

Which means one thing, more waiting.

You Dummy!

Or, things not to say to a Mommy-to-be when baby is four days late.

- Think about all the extra weight he's gaining!

- Come on... haven't the first forty weeks had some high points?

- Maybe it means he'll be early for stuff down the road!

- What's a few more days when it's been nine months?

I could keep going, but it's probably best to say as little as possible when baby is late... and getting later by the hour. And I can't say that I blame her; I can't imagine how forty weeks have really felt, so I can only guess that 40+ is becoming even more uncomfortable and tiring.

Son, if you're listening, we'd *really* love to meet you... any time now would be good! :)

Love,

Dad