3 to 33 to 10

Three months has zoomed by and I can't believe we are in November!

Not to mention I am 33 years old today! Ack. That feels old, but at the same time it doesn't feel old at all. I'm married, with a family, a good job and a fairly good life.

But back to the most important part of this blog, the baby! He will be ten months old tomorrow and my has he changed. My little ten month old is so different from my 6 month old. He has literally blossomed from a grumpy, sourpuss into a cheerful, giggly, smiley, never stops moving, much easier to handle little boy.

He is officially a walker. He started to take his first few steps around 9 months and a few weeks later was full on walking around the house. He falls all over, but that hasn't deterred him. He is definitely a determined little dude.

Here is my son in bullet point form:

• He sleeps. 
• He doesn't like to nap much, but he does give us a full nights sleep here and there. And when he doesn't, he is usually up only once and then back down again. (knock on wood!) 
• He loves books. He can't get enough of them. I'm amazed at how easy he can kill time with his books.
• He is not a babbler. (unlike his mom)
• He loves noise makers, smashing two toys together to make noise. 
• He loves to bang on laptops and computers. 
• He knows what skype is and does. 
• He hates shoes, and tries to eat his socks.
• When he is done, he is done. Meaning if we are out at a playdate and he is ready for home - he immediately shuts down and throws a baby smackdown of tears. 
• But, he is finally an easier baby to read. 
•  He is a total joy. 
• He can be the biggest turd when he wants to.
• He could not be more loved by his grandparents
• He could not be more loved by his parents

I go back to work in about 6 weeks and I am dreading it. To leave my poor little baby at daycare is not something I'm looking forward to. I mean, on one hand I am looking forward to returning to work and trying to balance out wife, mom and career. But on the other hand I am finally starting to really enjoy being with him all day and now I get to relinquish that to someone else.

Did I mention he's being left with strangers! That freaks me out a bit too. I am comfortable with the home daycare we chose, but still.

My little baby is growing.

oh happy days

Life is just moving along quite nicely. Timothy is getting more and more fun each and every day. He has really grown out of his cranky-pants colic and is blossoming into quite the little dude. And each day I discover little idiosyncrasies about him. Just last night I saw how ticklish he was when I dried under his armpits. He let out one of those distressed giggles that as a fellow ticklish person remember. It's funny, it's ticklish, but at the same time it's uncomfortable and as much as you are giggling, you just want the tickling to stop!

He has started crawling and scooting all around. Of course the second I pull out the camera to videotape this new skill he immediately stops and looks at me as if to say "what the heck ma.....". And I am pretty sure he is doing it on purpose. What a sneak!

Next week we take our first plane ride to see the Newfie side of the family. It is exciting. Tim will get to meet so many people who already love him and his chunky legs and I know they can't wait to get their hands on him for oodles of hugs, kisses and snuggles. I am looking forward to some very long day-time naps!

Life right now is good. I have very few complaints, which is unlike me! My day is filled with so many more good moments than challenging ones, my son is turning a new leaf...if only he'd sleep through the night!

Yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Six months ago I experienced instant unconditional love.
Six months ago I embarked on a very new, overwhelming journey known as motherhood.
Six months ago I met the most beautiful tiny, little, squirmy, baby boy.
Six months ago I had a terrifying moment that still can bring tears to my eyes if I let my mind wander to that moment.
Six months ago I learned that every plan you can make for labour and delivery means nothing.
Six months ago I learned that a poopy diaper does actually bring happiness! Even today.
Five months ago I learned that one should never take advantage of sleep and how wonderful and glorious it truly is! For all non-parents...sleep. Sleep!
Five months ago I learned that boys can leak through a lot of diapers, so be careful when changing them.
Four months ago I learned what colic was.
Four months ago I cursed colic. I still curse colic.
Four months ago I realized how unfair life is when all my friends/family had angel babies and I had a devil baby. Ok, not a devil baby. I mean colicky baby. (maybe 1% devil)
Three months ago I learned that colic lasts a long time.
Three months ago I learned that my baby Does. Not. Sleep. Ever.
Two months ago I learned that colic eventually ends. After about 14 weeks.
Two months ago I learned why moms love their babies so much (see colic ending)
One month ago I learned that the tiniest of things can make me the most proud mom ever.
One month ago I would have told you that sitting up was like the hardest thing ever. (today it's crawling)
One month ago I cringed thinking my son might bite me now that he has two teeth. I was wrong.
One month ago I couldn't believe five months had already passed. Time is flying by.
Today I can't believe six months has passed.
Today I can't believe how badly I feel for my in-pain-teething little boy.
Today I try to enjoy every single moment with Timothy as I feel like it will all be over before I know it.
Today my day is made better by every smile, gurgle and spit noise.
Today I secretly enjoy that my baby reaches out for me when he is in daddy's arms.
Today I count my blessings as I have a happy, healthy, stubborn, strong-willed, spirited, most amazing son.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow I will continue to wish that my son would sleep.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow I will continue to wish that he grows to have the most wonderful life
Yesterday, today and tomorrow I will continue to love this boy more than he will ever know.

Happy 5 Month-a-versary....

5 months old. I can't believe that we have almost hit the half-a-year mark. Timothy is 5 months old today. It feels like I could write the longest blog post ever, but at the same time I don't know where to start and most days I barely have time to actually sit at a computer to write a full blog post. Facebook statuses...yes, those are one sentences....a full blogpost...not so much.

My little man is so full of personality. As I write this he and I are locked in an epic battle of nap #2 today. I won for nap #1 at 9:30am...took me 30 minutes.....he is currently down for a nap #2 which is a first in gosh, I don't know...since he was a newborn! But I'm determined to win this sleep-war...for once! He is a fighter. Of course I should of known that considering how he came into the world and how the nurses kept calling him feisty....even at a couple of days old those baby experts could see what we were in for. But he battles naps and nighttime sleep like a warrior. He is spirited, stubborn, strong willed and full of emotion! And just today I saw a sprout of his first tooth. I've heard it can "retract" and reappear before it officially stays put, but our little man is now a teether.

A teether and a sitter. Last week he sat for the first time unassisted. As witnessed on skype by his Nanny. One thing I will note is it is amazing how proud and happy I was for that little moment. It was when he first rolled over as well. Small things that seem like feats for him and I just beam and gush and tell him that he is just awesome. We've slowly started solids. And I mean slowly. He's chewed on a few peppers- and I don't know if it's because he likes them or if because the cold pepper makes his teething gums feel better, but he sure goes to town on them. He has had some sweet potatoes and some pears, both seemed to have been a huge success. Just yesterday I was eating raspberries and we lunged for one, so I gave him one. Verdict? Apparently not tasty one bit. He got the most sour look on his face and spit it out. It was so cute, I had to give him another one just so I could see the face again!

I think I'm that mom. You know...THAT mom that will love every flower, picture and mud pie that her son makes for her. One that will tell him he's a superstar when he can say his first word and tell myself he's a genius when he can finally clap his hands together. That's right, the annoying mom who thinks her kid is the bees knees.....

And for the most part he IS the bees' knees. But I am also a realist.... he is a grumpy, loud, highly sensitive, particular little dude who isn't a fan of lots of people or crowds. He is really kind of like a grouchy old man. But he's MY grouchy old-man baby.

Here he is in his new stroller...looking all dapper and happy as he is out of the car seat attachment and sitting like a big boy!

I hope the next five months go by a little slower so I can really enjoy each little moment with him because it is all going so fast.

Four down!

Sigh. Blogging takes time.

Time I seem to finding a harder and harder time finding. Timothy has now hit four months. Unbelievable. My little man is (well, for one, not so little)...but he is four months old!

In the last few weeks it seems as if he has turned a baby corner. He is no longer a cranky, colicky, fussy and grumpy little boy. He's just cranky and grumpy. Not all of the time, but he is still a bit of a serious dude. But in all his grumpiness and crankiness, he is the most handsome little guy with the most adorable smile and infectious laugh. He brings so much joy to our lives, even though the first 100 days (or three months) as the doctor told us were "100 days of hell" - we got through it and motherhood is now actually something that I can enjoy! What a different baby. His true colours are shinning through and they are beautiful.

Mama's Little Boy

Couldn't resist sharing! I am afraid I might be one of those mothers who raises a mama's boy...can one know that when he's not even four months old yet?

I shower him in kisses and hugs and I run to him when he cries and scoop him up in my arms. He gets me every time. I am running less and less quickly to him, but nonetheless, I always go to him. I am not at all a fan of "ferberizing" my kid, which is the "cry it out method" that every one my parents and grandparents generation encourages. I am of the mindset that the only way this little dude knows how to communicate is through crying...although now he gurgles and coos and laughs. But with all the problems we had early on, he is often in pain and if a comforting hug is all I can do to let him know I'm here, then I'll do it.

Bollocks to crying it out! This mama bear is more of an "attachment parenting" type. Cuddles, hugs and security building trust. I'm a firm believer that at three months, he isn't quite at the point of manipulating his mama yet....that will come later and then I can choose to let him fake-cry it out all he wants!

Although as I write this, he's been moaning and whining in his jumper-toy for the last five minutes.

Time to go!

A letter to Tim

Dear Timothy,

I can't believe you've been with us for three months. The time is flying by. We had quite the rough start you and I. With your exciting, but terrifying delivery - you've continued to keep me on the edge of my seat.  At about 3 weeks old you developed pretty nasty colic and cried for up to six hours a day....every day. Nothing could console you, I would hold and rock you and snuggle you as best I could, but some days all I could do was cry right along with you. The worst feeling in the world is knowing that you were in pain and knowing that I couldn't do anything about it. Many doctor visits later and I was repeatedly told that you will eventually grow out of it and while it will be a hard road, we just had to wait it out together.

And so we did. Together we took on each day and worked through the colic spells, the gas pains and the constant discomfort. You were my sensitive little grumpy boy who had a mind of his own and wasn't going to let any "baby guidelines" dictate how you would be. Two episodes of you stopping breathing nearly pushed me over the edge, but you were just making sure I was paying attention....you little sneaker.

You hated swaddling, you hated being in the cradle position, a lot of times you didn't want to be held. But as you grew, so did your personality. You are loud and are sure to be heard, you don't cry, you scream, you have a feisty spirit that while can be exhausting, will serve you well when you are older. You won't be a doormat to anyone!

And today, three months after I brought you home, I couldn't love you more. You are adorable and have an infectious smile that lights up a room. You are the happiest in the early mornings and you love to be sans clothes in all your naked glory. You have started to gurgle and coo and talk the only way you know how and I get tons of smiles from you each day.

You still get your gas pains and cry out in discomfort, but we do our best to work through them and you now let mommy hold and comfort you and snuggle you. A corner has been turned and your dad and I are excited for the next chapter of your very early life.

My sweet, sweet Timothy. We love you and adore you and are so proud that we were picked as your parents in this life.

Much love,
Mum

Clearing out the Dust Bunnies....

Where has the time gone? I have been a horribly lax blogger with minimal updates!

Timothy is a few days shy of reaching three-months old! We have already had an interesting ride. The colic is finally subsiding and it has made a noticeable difference around here. He is having much better days (and nights), while it isn't always great, but it is so much better! He is turning into a smiley little man. We recently started giving him acid-reflux medication which has helped with his constant spitting up and discomfort.

Although I am starting to wonder if it all just is one happy coincidence. Is he just getting older and therefore his digestive system is maturing which is phasing out the colic and the acid reflux medication is really doing nothing? I am not sure, but I don't plan on stopping!

It is still hard to fathom that we've been a parental unit for three months. It has gone by so fast, even with the hours and hours of crying (every day!), it has still zoomed by!

I will post some pictures soon!

Two-Four-Six-Eight

Timothy is eight weeks old and a couple days. A full two months. Wow. It doesn't feel that long at all. Although the colic has definitely made things a bit more challenging and the days have seemed quite long. I envy parents who have babies that don't cry 6+ hours a day at different intervals, or babies who can be soothed by a quick snuggle or a snack at the boob or bottle. We had a bit of a rough week last week as the husband was out of town and I was flying solo.

However, My parents were here all day Thursday and part of Friday and that was a big help. It was nice just to a) have the company and b) have someone to entertain him, walk with him or try to soothe him (other than myself). Plus, since they don't see him that often, they want to hold him all the time.  My dad definitely has some "baby whisperer" in him...but actually I think he just has the patience to just hold a shrieking baby and wait out his crying spell. It showed me that I need to be more patient and be a little less bothered by his colic and realize there isn't much I can do so to just wait it out with him.

Here is a picture of him and I taken yesterday before we brought him to his first church service. He didn't exactly stay quiet through the whole thing, but the husband took him into the lobby area where they stream the service and walked and rocked with him.

Here is a look at our turtlebug!

Special Valentine x 2

This is a special Valentine's Day as I get to expand my number of Valentine's from one to two. And boy is my littlest and most special Valentine ever got a hold of my heart.

The K & S household is experiencing some challenging times right now. We think baby Tim has colic, as he is definitely showing some of the signs of colic. The constant crying - especially in the late afternoon - early evening is hard to handle. There doesn't seem to be much that soothes him and he cries non-stop and it is a very excited and intense cry. I am at a loss as to what to do, I've scoured the internet looking at mommy forums trying to get as many ideas as I can in dealing with it. I know there isn't much you can do and they don't know why some babies are colicky and others are not, I just wish there was something I could do to calm the little guy down.

It's been at least a week that he's had these crying spells and the doctor tells me that colic is diagnosed when the baby hits the 3 signs. 3 hours of crying at least 3 times a week for three weeks. I think we're in week two of these signs, so I'm now timing the crying and times of days to really determine if it's colic so  I can give the doctor some concrete examples to get him properly diagnosed. While I know there is no cure for colic, I want to just rule out anything else that it could or might be.

Sometimes his cries sound so pained or almost like he's scared. It's a panicked cry that just breaks my heart.

But even with all that, the crying, the lack of sleep, the constant spit up - when he gives me those gummy smiles and lays his head on my shoulder to settle down (when he does settle), my heart melts and I seem to forget those insane afternoons and long nights...for the briefest of moments the day is perfect.

He's my perfect little Valentine.

So today I am thankful for both my Valentines. My husband who comes home and immediately asks what he can do for me, knowing I've been consumed in all things baby. A husband who will get up in the middle of the night to change his diaper to give me a few extra minutes of sleep before a feeding. A husband who is so involved in our son's life - I can't imagine doing this without him.

I am so thankful for my two special guys.

One (mois)

One month today.  I hope to be able to update this blog at least once a week. Timothy is officially one month old.

Only 11 more to go before I have to head back to work. Thank god for Canada's healthcare system - I can't imagine having to go back to work so soon as some of my American friends have to do.

This week was quite emotional for me. On Thursday I went to our family doc for some concerns I was having as a result of my episiotomy...turns out I might have to be re-sliced and diced and stitched up. I am not looking forward to that. Not one bit. But while at the doc's office I just pointed out that I thought Tim's belly button looked "weird". It turned into a full check with another doctor being brought in and then us being immediately sent to the Emergency Department of our city's Children's Hospital for a hernia check. And the doctor uttered one word no new mom wants to hear "surgery".

I shed a number of tears in her office, in the car on the way to get my husband, on the phone with my mom and on the way to the Hospital. Two doctor's checked him out and didn't think it was a hernia, but our family doctor seems quite shocked that they didn't diagnose it as she suspected. So I think we are on belly-button watch.

Here's a pic of the little guy who is finally not screeching when he's put in his swing. He doesn't stay there for long, but he seems to enjoy it for the brief amount of time that he's in there.

What a cutie. His cuteness makes up for it when he's up every 2.5-3hrs in the night for a feed...I really need to try to work out a solid 3 to 4 hr routine for daytime and nighttime.

Here is hoping!

Three Weeks Old

While I used to be counting weeks of pregnancy, I'm now counting weeks of Tim's life. Today he is three weeks old. It seems like he's been here longer, but at the same time I'm equally shocked that he's already three weeks.

He is changing so much. He looks like a different baby than the one I brought home. And boy does he have a personality. He loves to be held up high and look around. I don't think he focuses on much, but he already has good use of his head...he loves to be rocked and bounced around. While he still frustrates easily if he can't latch to eat - he then pushes the breast away but roots like crazy for it.

His hands are his greatest comfort. He always has them in his face. He sleeps with them right up to his cheeks, he eats with them under his chin (which doesn't make breastfeeding the most comfortable). And what an eater! We went to the lactation consultant yesterday because Timothy has a tendency to never burp but will spit up with a force that is beyond a little dribble. And he has some bad gas pains, where his face scrunches right up. The lactation specialist weighed him and he is quite the eater and a chunker. He has gained 2 pounds in a little over 2 weeks. She said not to worry about the burping and that at only 3 weeks old he will learn to not guzzle like a frat boy and that will ease his gas pains.

Here he is at 3 weeks old. Legs and arms scrunched up. What a cutie. I adore him.

Aftermath & Welcome

Hello world,

The husband and I welcomed a son on January 5th, 2012 at 10:17pm. Timothy Blair was born tipping the scales at 7lbs, 2oz. His middle name is after my Dad - who is an important person in my life, so I was happy to share the namesake with my firstborn.

I ended up having to be induced, and once the medication was flowing, labour came quite quickly from what I've heard from the doctors. Having never given birth, I couldn't tell you, but the reaction of the nurses and on-call doctor was that it moved very quickly. From the breaking of my water to Timothy entering into the world we had just over 3 hours.

It was quite terrifying for us. During labour Timothy had a strong heartbeat and everything seemed to be going well (aside from my epidural wearing off!) And then, as he started to crown, the doctor called for the Respiratory Therapist to be paged to come to our delivery room. Our little guy had his umbilical cord wrapped not once, but twice around his neck and had inhaled meconium. When the little tugboat emerged there was no sound, no cry - no shriek that all mothers hope to hear. He had no vital signs. The RT came in and there was a hush in the back of the room as 6 people tended to my baby.

Nothing was scarier, it was terrifying.

I was a wreck. Timothy was whisked away to the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) and I was left on the hospital bed to be take care of by the nurses and doctor. The tears wouldn't stop flowing. My husband was able to go back and forth to the NICU to see how he was doing, but I was helpless as I lay there waiting for news and praying for a positive outcome.

By the grace of God and a fantastic staff and a wonderful RT who pumped oxygen to Timothy for over an hour, our little guy yelped out a pathetic scream saying 'what the heck'. I wasn't there, but I can imagine it was the greatest sound in the world. He spent the first night in the NICU and was closely monitored by the nurses there. 4 hours later I still hadn't held him or seen him.

Finally I was able to see my son. And he was perfect.

I am so thankful every day for this little guy. He is the most yummy, adorable baby ever. And he already has a personality. He frustrates easily if he can't latch for his feeding, but once he's on, he gulps like a champ. He loves to be held and snuggle and I'm pretty sure adores his Daddy. And his Dad and I couldn't be happier.

We are that more complete.

Welcome to the world my son.

Change of Mind.....

Hello little Stringbean,

You know how  three days ago I said that we'd patiently wait for you to come when you're good and ready.

I lied!

Hurry up and get your little wrinkled, chubby self here.

I will be heading to the doctor's tomorrow and we will most likely be discussing induction dates. Apparently, it came to light through a friend, that while an induction date can be "picked", the hospital calls you that day to give you the go-ahead. So it's really just a wish-date - if the labour and delivery department is too swamped with emergencies or pregnant ladies, they will call you another day.

That only means one thing. More waiting.

We are almost at 41 weeks. 41 long weeks.

I'm told the docs won't let us go longer than 10 days late...and tomorrow makes lucky number 6. So we should be able to say with certainty that we will meet you in 4 days.

Which means one thing, more waiting.

You Dummy!

Or, things not to say to a Mommy-to-be when baby is four days late.

- Think about all the extra weight he's gaining!

- Come on... haven't the first forty weeks had some high points?

- Maybe it means he'll be early for stuff down the road!

- What's a few more days when it's been nine months?

I could keep going, but it's probably best to say as little as possible when baby is late... and getting later by the hour. And I can't say that I blame her; I can't imagine how forty weeks have really felt, so I can only guess that 40+ is becoming even more uncomfortable and tiring.

Son, if you're listening, we'd *really* love to meet you... any time now would be good! :)

Love,

Dad

Goodbye 2011

December 31, 2011 and no sign of our son. It looks like we won't be "three" in 2011. Our little guy is officially LATE.

He most definitely takes after his dad. But that's okay. His dad has some pretty great qualities...so if he only makes an appearance after Jan 1st, if he is healthy and the delivery is without complications, we are content to wait as long as need be.

Where is the baby?

He hasn't come yet. Today is the due date. Or one of them anyway. We actually have two due dates. The 27th and the 29th. We really hoped to have our little son by Christmas, but he's got plans of his own and just wasn't ready to make his grand entrance to the world.

Already he's going to beat to his own drum. Definitely my son.

So we wait. That's ok. He can come when he is good and cooked, as long as he's safe and healthy.

I, of course, am going bonkers in anticipation waiting to meet him. But I must be patient.

We see the doctor again today - and hopefully she's able to help things along someway....

6 days?

What...is that even possible? 6 days to go! This past Monday I thought we had reached our moment. I had contractions for about 5 or so hours that were in regular intervals...so I called the husband at work and just said "I'm monitoring this...maybe today is the day!"

Then I ate lunch and the baby calmed right down and the body stopped the 15 minute-interval contraction. And I felt quite disappointed. I thought for sure that I would be meeting our son. No such luck. So we wait. And wait.

Christmas is coming up fast and nothing would make me happier than to have our little family together on Christmas morning. I'm not sure I'll be so lucky. I've scoured the internet for natural ways to induce labour and this is what they've said:

• Pineapple - easy enough, but apparently it has to be "fresh"....I hate cutting pineapple...so nix that.
• Walking - trying that, although some sites say that it helps progress labour once you've started, not that it actually starts labour. But I've walked. Not hours on end, but daily walks. So far, nothing!
• Sex - really? Seriously. I look and feel like a beached whale. Plus, it didn't work. Not wanting to try that again. Ugh. 
• Nipple Stimulation - this is weird. Apparently if you do it for like 7 hours you can cause your uterus to contract. Too funny. And so not happening.
• Castor Oil - acts like the most effective and major laxative ever and because of all that "cleansing", you can trigger your contractions. Not really deemed safe as it can cause fetal distress and/or cause the baby to have meconium during labour which is never a good idea. Some midwives and docs swear by it and others area adamantly against it. It sounds gross.
• Spicy food - I like spicy food and have eaten some but again - nothing is happening. 

So there we have it. I can walk. Big deal. It's not working. I thought based on my size and all that this baby would come early....short folks are known to deliver early, and I am definitely of the "short" size category....at barely 5ft I held out hop he'd need to make an early exit.

And today is another day. Another day of waiting.

I dispise waiting!

Come on baby. We're all anxiously waiting to meet you.

The Final Countdown

Now more than just one of the best hair-metal anthems of all-time...

The calendar says there are just 10 days to go, though it's really feeling all like a blur at this point. Having finished my Christmas shopping today I should be taking a deep breath content in the knowledge that my pre-Christmas work is essentially done. Truth be told, it's just starting!

I do believe that nearly the finishing touches for the nursery have been made. Mobile = suspended. Artwork = hung (and a great job done on them by K!). Wall name = mounted (pictures of that will have to wait until after he's born). And all the baby paraphernalia - stroller, swing, playard, etc, etc - have been assembled and are ready to roll.

On a side note, who knew that the folks that inspect car seats would have an objection to a pair of scissors being left (blade forward no less) next to the back headrest pointed at the car seat? Such nitpickers.

Anyway, it feels like we've got everything in place now, except the little man himself. So when we look around I think we end up saying to ourselves "well our part is done, so you better hurry up and show up soon!". But I've been told that they tend to have a schedule unto themselves!

And speaking of schedules, the first casualty in the birth pool has been Nanny. Kathy gambled on an early date and took Dec. 15th as her grandson's birthday. Come and gone. Up next is Mommy with the 19th, then Daddy with the 20th and Pappy with the 21st. Seems like her side all guessed early. Nanny Stringer tonight informed me that she's taking New Year's Eve, but we all hope she's wrong! And since K always says I'm late for everything and she's normally early, I guess this will be the first indication as to who our son takes after.. early or late!

All that said, I really just want to meet him. It's all been well and good for 8 months, and I think K would say I've been overly laissez-faire about everything. Which, from her perspective, I can understand; I'm not the most reactive fellow. But now things are really gearing up and I can honestly say that the excitement has truly hit home. It was always there, but of course we men don't experience everything the same first-hand way that our wives do. Now, however, it's full on. The bags are packed, the work road-trips are over, and I'm ready for the call. Let's do this!

Christmas Hope!

Well, we're almost at 38 weeks. And I am wishing and hoping that our son makes an appearance soon. Christmas is my favourite holiday season, everyone is always so happy and the world seems so full of hope and cheer. And I would just love, love to celebrate Christmas with my husband and son and rest of the family.

It would make this Christmas extra special. Unfortunately, babies come on their own schedule, or so I've been told. And it's highly unlikely my doctor would do an elective induction just because I'd like that for Christmas! Not exactly a good enough reason. So, I am walking. And apparently I need to start eating pineapple. That's what I've been told. Some mothers have suggested castor oil and when I made that joke to my doctor she laughed and told me horror stories about patients of hers that have done that. She was adamant that it was a horrible way to go into labour and that it rarely worked, but if by some small chance it did, it would essentially feel like death. But I noticed that she didn't say "don't do it", she just said "I certainly wouldn't ever suggest doing it".

So maybe if by the 20th or 21st this little guy hasn't come yet, I might be tempted....just to get him home for Christmas. Yep, I guess that makes me one selfish mamma!

I've been feeling some contractions, but nothing that says that it's go-time. It happens maybe once or twice a day and then I go back to my regular old pregnant self.

And I sure am tired of it.

Baby watch!

I have officially been on vacation from work for the last three days. I'm already bored. I'm exhausted. But bored. I'm definitely ready to meet this guy. This week has us finishing our 37th week. The little guy can come any time now and be considered by all accounts "full-term". Which is the exact point I wanted to get to. Working in a hospital you can always tell when a baby is born before "37 weeks". As a 'just in case', they have to have some specialists on hand in case help is needed. You wouldn't think much happens from 36 weeks to 37, but let me tell you from the hospital intercom, apparently a lot can happen!

I see the doc again on Thursday and I'm sure I'll continue to get that more anxious. It seems that this has been the longest 37 weeks of my life, and now I am stunned that we're already at 37 weeks! And is this guy ever loved. I've been the lucky gal of not one, but three baby showers. We have everything we need or could want and our son is starting his life on the right foot.

Interestingly it was a lot harder to leave work than I thought. It was a bittersweet day. While I was ready for a break and time off to get the house in order and get as much rest as I can because everyone keeps telling me I'll need it! But it feels weird to leave such a huge piece of me behind. Work has been such a big part of my life and while I'm moving on to a new "job" for the next year, I am going to miss going in every day and doing what I do. Although, this could all change the day we bring baby boy home.

The husband and I are getting antsy and we are crossing our fingers that he comes soon and healthy with all this toes and fingers.We are definitely on baby watch. 37

I just can't wait to meet him!

Here we are. In a few short days we'll be entering the 36th week. My how time has flown by in these last few months. It seemed to take forever as I was counting the weeks in the early stages. Now, it seems they're coming fast and quick and I can't catch my breath.

There is so much to do...or at least it feels that way. I feel unorganized and scattered. I need to buckle down and get my act together and organize all the baby's clothes and figure out what goes where and where in the kitchen I can find "baby space"....we have a pretty little kitchen with minimal cupboard space, but I'll have to figure something out soon....baby will be here in a few weeks.

S and I have been very lucky and spoiled by our friends and family as I just had two baby showers. We got tons of stuff and this little guy is off to the best start possible.

Here is our most recent baby-bump picture that was taken this past Sunday.

The belly is definitely growing and growing. At barely 5ft tall, I'm impressed that I'm not falling over!

Six.

Six weeks to go.

How can that be?

My work-mates just put on a great baby shower for me and I couldn't feel more loved by them. It was wonderful to see how they all came together and took off 8 items from my registry! From my change-table pad to a nursing pillow to my diaper genie! It was all very lovely and gets us off to a great start.

I'm sure I've mentioned that there are 4 women in the office who are either preggo or just had a baby. 4 women in an office of 7. My poor boss. And I'm pretty sure we're all taking the full year off. Definitely some challenges, but for us ladies it's great that we will be able to connect and have playdates and get away and connect with each other. 2 of us, myself and another will be gone from Dec 2011 to Dec 2012 and the other two have different timelines, but all in all, there is about 4 or 5 months where we'll all be off at the same time!

Which brings me to gush about how we're given a full year. I know, some women can't take the full year, the government cheque just isn't enough to cover the expenses they'll have raising a family or living on their husband/partner's income just won't sustain. But for those who can manage - to be able to take a full year to full bond and raise your child is absolutely amazing. I think to our neighbours to the south and feel unbelievably sorry that they aren't offered this option. There is so many misconceptions about the universal healthcare system in Canada and how my American friends all think we're dying in Emergency rooms, when really that isn't the case. Yes - it isn't perfect. But neither is yours. But I truly wish you could benefit from paternal/maternity leave and benefits that we do.

Because I can't imagine anything better than being able to spend those first amazing months with your child.

Hello little turkey.....

Dear little guy,

It’s hard to believe we are already in week 33. The last doctor’s visit told us you were in the Frank Breech position. Now, I hate to be a nag – but you really need to turn yourself around. For now I’ll just gently try to use my soothing voice to politely ask you to turn. If at 37 weeks the doctor tells me you’re still being a pain-in the ass-down position, you will begin to hear the “not so nice mommy voice”.

And just ask daddy, nobody, nobody wants to hear that!

You’ve really started to get your groove on lately. Most mothers have told me babies slow down in the 30 week range, you seem to be bopping and bumping even more. Maybe you’re trying to get comfortable in there….but you certainly seem to be having yourself a party in there. You’ve kept me awake a number of nights these last few weeks and have been intent on keeping me as awake as possible. I’m just saying, I won’t forget this and when you’re 15 and want to sleep in, I’ll pull out this card and force you to rise with the sun!

All joking aside, it’s getting close to crunch time. Your father and I are getting anxious, nervous, excited as we anticipate your arrival. We both hope it’s a safe and healthy labour and delivery and that you’re lungs are strong enough for every first breath and first cry. Mother’s intuition tells me you won’t make it to your due date, but then again, mother’s intuition had me convinced I was carrying a girl….so we know that this mother clearly has her “off days”.  But with every off day, I hope to have countless "on" days.

Stay warm and safe in there and keep growing and gaining as much strength as you can, there are lots of people out here excited to meet you.

See you in less than two months!

Love,
Mom & Dad

No Fun Zone

We've officially entered the no-fun zone of pregnancy. (But, has it ever really been fun?) The heartburn has drastically increased, the discomfort in trying to sleep is taking it's toll on me and at the moment it feels like our little guy is on speed and I feel like a sick dog.

For the last week or so I've been fighting a nasty cold. And I mean nasty. The coughing is that kind that shakes the whole body and ends up hurting. The sinus congestion that never ends and the aching body that just won't go away. And a bonus to being pregnant is that our lovely doctors tell us that we can't take anything.

I know, I know - I can see my mom and dad shaking their heads and thinking "gee, we took cold medicine back when we were having babies and our kids turned out just fine!" Well times have changed, back then you didn't wear sunscreen and now you've seemed to come around to the notion that too much sun can cause cancer - so maybe you can realize that it's not that doctors are saying that you'll necessarily severely harm the baby, but that a drug free, medicine-free pregnancy helps to minimize such developmental problems and health problems that might have been more prevalent back in the day. It's not like I think a cold pill will cause my baby to look like the hunchback of Notre Dame, (but two cold pills a day for a week might not be the best option)  but I know that I'd rather feel a week or two of discomfort than increasing any risks to my baby. I know, I know....the older generation (yes, I said older) is rolling their eyes. Just think of what all the studies have shown us on nicotine, alcohol, post-partum depression, radiation for cancer, penicillin (oooh, that was a good one), vaccines for polio etc....- some times doctors get it right and you can't always just chose to listen to some advice and ignore the others because it's not what "you did". Because you all should have just had your babies in the back woods without a doctor or a hospital because gee, our ancestors did that and turned out just fine, so why would you go to a hospital in the first place....gosh, you must have been wrapped up in all that hog-wash hype from your day.

My next "issue" is insomnia. It has been horrendous. I was up until 3AM this morning. My son, or I should say my husband's son would not stop kicking, bouncing,  moving, shifting, dancing, posing, squatting, turning....I don't know what he was doing but it was annoying and kept me up. I couldn't get comfortable. At 2AM I got up to take a warm bath hoping the water would soothe the little pain-in-the-ass to sleep....but nope...he kept going. I'd also like to point out how my husband didn't move an inch as I got out of bed, went to our ensuite bathroom, ran the bath water, played some soft music, drained the tub, dried off, got back into bed. And he is supposed to hear a kid in the next room? He could sleep through an earthquake.

Maybe all that moving is turning the baby. He's currently bum-down and head up...so he has a few weeks to get in the right position because I won't be pushing a baby out feet first...!

And to think, I will only get bigger which means heartburn, insomnia, discomfort will only grow.

Pregnancy is officially not-fun.

Too Early for Countdown?

It might be too early for a countdown. We have about 67 days until we meet this little guy if everything stays on schedule. I have about 35 working days left at the office. Then I will be taking two weeks of vacation before welcoming our son.

Again if all things stay on schedule. I could say that any child of mine would most likely come early - because our family epitomozies that being "on time" is actually late and that early is the only option in life. But then you need to mix my genes with my husband's genes who....let's just say is not as "on time" as he could be. Now he's definitely gotten a lot better in the few years we've been together. I've definitely brought him around to the side of thinking that believes that lateness is disrespectful to the people you're meeting or the appointment you're supposed to be at and that our time is just as precious as theirs so we should respect that. So that being said, this little man knows what family he's going to grow up in, so he should start off on the right foot....a few days or a week early would be great...but not too early - he needs time to get big and strong...(but not too big!)

But that all being said, I am definitely on a countdown watch. I am getting excited to meet this guy so far it's been a long 30 weeks and I hope the next two months go by really fast.

So let the countdown begin!

Nurser-iffic!

Yesterday our daddy-to-be painted our son's nursery. It's not finished yet as we have some decorative touches to add to the room - but the colours are done and the furniture is all set up. We definitely went back and forth on what to paint and what tones/shades to paint once we selected our final colours.

Poor S wasn't sure if I'd like it or not as he painted while I was at work, so I was definitely apprehensive about what it would look like. Our chosen colour scheme? Brown and blue. By the time I got into the room to see it, I was very surprised! I think it looks quite nice! Yes - it isn't 100% exactly as I thought it'd be, I thought the brown the would be much deeper/richer....but all-in-all it's a pretty snazzy room. The husband has NEVER painted! It's like he's lived under a rock....but for a first time painter - he's done very, very well! I love it. We love it.

Here are some pics for you!

An overview shot of the room....looks smaller than it is! 

The crib...looks ready for our son...

A cozy chair for rocking/feeding and of course the much needed change-table

Can't see the colours here, but good light coming in from the window....a great place for baby boy to grow up!

The blue and brown look really good together and for some reason the pictures make the nursery look much smaller than it is - probably because I've cornered the dresser or something...but once we add some fun bits to the walls and get some great curtains (maybe a habs pillow or two....) it will look fantastic!

Thankful Part Deux.....

 

The hubby and I...on a beautiful Thanksgiving weekend.....! 

Another belly shot!

Time for Thanks.....

Thanksgiving has come and gone and I have many things to be thankful for:

• A wonderful and amazing husband who is not only my partner in crime, but my best friend and who I know will make an excellent father.
• And he does laundry!
• A healthy and loving family - I am truly blessed to have such wonderful parents and siblings that mean so much to me and have shaped a large part of who I am.
• Nieces and a nephew who think we are the bee's knees -  both S and I enjoy being so close to a few of them and wish we had them all close by.
• A new niece on the way! We will be welcoming a new addition in March as S's sister is also pregnant and we all couldn't be more happier for her and her husband.
• Aside from a few bumps in the road, a healthy pregnancy and a little guy who I already adore and who has stolen my heart.
• Days off that allow me to rest because I've grown to an uncomfortable size and with 10 weeks to go...I'm bound to just get bigger!
• A job I actually like and am invested in and will probably miss it as I will be on maternity leave for the full-year. 
• An extended family of in-laws that just add more love and support to my life. 

While there are many more things in life that I am thankful for, these are just but a few. I was hoping to write a much longer post, but today was a difficult day. I was feeling uncomfortable and exhausted and under the weather. S was once again a true gem as he took care of me and did his best to make me feel comfortable with back rubs and water and time to myself. (Although he probably enjoyed the afternoon to himself as well!) And I am of course thankful that he wrote such beautiful things about me, it really brightened my day and gave me the pick-me-up that I needed. S always makes me feel so appreciated and I hope he feels the same in return.

I hope this reminds us all to be thankful for what we have and not focus so much on what we don't.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Knowing What You've Got

So this is officially my second post on the blog, which some would say is a shamefully low number. And really, I guess it is. It's not that I don't care about it; it has become a wonderful record of our first pregnancy and potentially a very neat piece of history we can one day share with our son. Rather I think that I occasionally think to myself that my better half is more suited to these things and I'll leave it to her to document our journey. I take it for granted that she'll do it. I take her for granted that she'll do it.

It sounds terrible but I suppose it's all too easy in any relationship to not fully appreciate what your partner does for you. And when pregnancy comes along and most of the focus shifts to that member who is to come, then perhaps (sadly) it becomes that much easier to lose sight of those things. So, 28 weeks in and entering month number 7, I'd like to take an opportunity to let our readers know, and let our future son to know, why his mom is awesome.

First, my wife is incredibly empathetic. It is one of the qualities which I admire most about her. It manifests itself in ways that make me laugh - like tearing up when watching people on reality shows talk of struggles they have - and ways that make me smile - like never passing someone who is collecting for something without trying to find some change for that person. When I find myself not getting why someone feels the way they do, she understands it intellectually and emotionally. And it's those emotions which will serve her well as we raise our son.

She's very loving. Now calm down.. this is a PG blog here! I mean that she's incredibly warm and caring. Now that doesn't mean that 28 weeks of pregnancy have been rainbows and unicorns for her. That much change to anyone's body is bound to cause a few moments (and truth be told, I've probably caused a few of those moments myself!), but I know how much she loves me and how much she already loves our son. I see it as she talks to him at night and I see it as she arranges his room in the day. Babe, I love you very much and I can't wait for you to get the opportunity to finally hold our baby boy. If the measure of a person is how he or she cares for and about others, then she indeed a great person and I believe will be a great mom.

And then there's all the motherly stuff she already does that doesn't get the attention it deserves. Those that know me probably would have to admit (if forced at gunpoint) that I can occasionally be a little bit lazy around the house. I do my part, and when it strikes me I can be a whirling dervish of cleaning and cooking, but the constant force for keeping the three of us going around the house is most certainly her. So for all the times that she is cooking supper while I'm not paying attention, let me say thank you and thank you on your son's behalf too!

So if there is someone in your life who, when you stop to think about it, you are truly blessed to have, let them know it. I know it, and I wouldn't have anyone else. Our son is already a very lucky boy and I hope that he grows up to appreciate everything about his mom that I do and more.

- devoted husband S

Mr. Hicks & Husband Quirks

Mr. Braxton Hicks has made his appearance. At least I think that’s what it is. Having never experienced this before, I can’t be sure. The doctors and the books all tell me that these type of “hicks” as I like to refer to them can start any time after 16 weeks, but most often after 25 weeks.

And so it begins. It actually feels quite weird. It’s a weird tightening sensation that causes some uncomfortable cramping and then subsides after about 30-60 seconds. I can’t say it’s painful; it’s more annoying and almost sore and seems to pass quite quickly. On the other hand it’s just another one of the many reminders that there is a squiggly, live, human inside of me. And in 12 short weeks he'll make his appearance.

Little man is definitely tiring me out. This past Saturday I'm pretty sure I slept 18 hours. And then went to bed at 9pm and slept until Sunday morning. Life feels exhausting. I can only imagine how it will feel in 6-8 or 10 weeks! The husband and I will take a walk and after about 1/2 an hour I am ready to pack it in and be home with my feet up...I remember all these women saying how exhausting it will get, but I always assumed that while yes, I'd be tired, I didn't think I'd be this tired.

So now we wait, hopefully Mr. Hicks and his partner Braxton stop showing up because just in the span of the day it took me to log onto this site and write up a blog entry, I've probably had 4-6 of these friendly reminders - or as the books like to say "preparing my uterus for labour". I don't really think you can fully prepare my uterus or cervix for the labour process - it doesn't know what its in for....and frankly it's perfectly fine if the whole system needs to wait until the end of December for it all to happen. I was never good at practicing things to begin with...I don't think I need to start now.

Oh and side-rant, the other day the Husband and I were in a store and he began questioning me on the merits of a nursing pillow. You ever have one of those moments when you're looking at your partner and thinking "really?" "Really"? You non-pregnant one, who will never know how fat, gross, heavy and pregnant I feel are questioning me about a $20 nursing pillow and why I just can't hold the baby while breastfeeding? And how maybe, just maybe these are useful little things....?" He just kept saying "I just don't get it....". And he had those big doey eyes that are so darn cute, but yet I couldn't quite convince him of the merits of this item.

And I, who recently vowed to practice patience so that I will be a calm and patient mother, did not punch him in the gut. Now that's love!

And then I put the nursing pillow on the registry. It was a win-win for both of us and I still don't think he gets it.

Dear Son at 27 Weeks

Dearest little one,

You are now 27 weeks along. The books tell me that you are now one viable little boy should the stars align a little early and should you surprise us now instead of 13 weeks down the road. Of course your dad and I hope and pray that you stay in your little cocoon for a few more months so that you get big and strong.

We are all getting excited for you to come. The nursery furniture is all set-up and ready to go - we`ve just got to decide if or what colour we will paint the room. It`s hard not to immediately think 'baby blue', but we're doing our best to think outside the box and put on our Martha Stewart Decorating Hat. But, sadly, my little one, neither your father or I have any crafty-ness in us. We will do our best, but I can't promise much, but the room will be filled with love, no matter the colour or design.

You are now moving non-stop and the belly is making visible waves that actually look quite freaky. It is amazing to think that there is a little baby in there- that you're in there! I'm trying to figure out if you're kicking me, punching me or chest bumping me. Either way, it's wonderful to know you're in there moving up a storm. I've learned a few things about you these last few weeks:

• You love the beat of a good song and when I crank up the radio you like to move (or kick) to the best, I've especially noticed this about Hip Hop and soulful Adele (Rumour Has It seems to be a favourite!) 
• A warm bath always gets you swaying
• The laptop is still your nemesis and you clearly don't like it sitting on the belly - you definitely like your space. I imagine when you're older you'll will have problems with "close talkers" and people who invade your personal space! 

We've learned that you can now hear voices and sounds - so I'm sure you've been getting a lot of inside information on your dad and I -  and we can't wait to hear yours!

Love you,
Mom-to-be

belly-shots

Here I am at about 22 or 23 weeks...showing mad love for our little guy. 

And here I am at about 25 weeks. The hubby and I are getting more excited as time goes by. The nursery is slowly coming together, we haven't decided on whether or not to paint....but the furniture looks great and I can't help but stop into every store I go by to look at cute baby clothes. But I've been good, I've only picked up a few pieces....(well, more like a handful)....and I can't wait to get our little boy into them! 

It is all starting to get more real. In about three months we will be holding our son in our arms! His kicks are getting harder and harder. You can actually see the baby move in the belly, it's not one of those weird youtube moments where you can see the foot or arm, I'm sure that will come, right now  it's more of a open-wave...

deep breaths

That seems to be what my last couple of weeks have been focused on. I can't get a good deep breath! Darn asthma. It barely bothers me my whole life and is what I'd consider very mild - and mostly triggered by allergies to animals or a change in the weather and now pregnancy.

I've been taking my puffer like you wouldn't believe. Last night I had the office over for a potluck and I wheezed the entire night and sounded like a winded old lady. I couldn't seem to find enough breath to speak. While I'm still able to go about my day, I am starting to worry about how I'll feel in 4 weeks or 8 weeks. I really only have a little over 3 months left to go.

3 months. This pregnancy while at first seemed to start off so slow is now powering through. The weeks seem to be going by quicker and quicker.

I just had the glucose test for gestational diabetes and let me tell you that was so-not fun. You arrive and they have you chug down this orange drink that tastes like the old-school McDonald's orange drink and is it ever sweet. You wait in the room for an hour and then they take your blood.

I got through the drink, which wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be and then about 15 minutes later I started to shake and feel queasy and dizzy. The room started to spin and I was either going to throw-up or pass out. It seems I chose the latter. Before I knew what was happening I was lying down in a back room trying to regroup. The technician was very nice and told me this is why they have you stick around for the hour because this has been known to happen and I must not eat a lot of sweets (too true, I'm a salty-girl all the way).

For now I think the majority of my preggers tests are done...and hopefully it's smooth sailing the rest of the way (of course provided that my lungs get enough air!)

Yesterday I had my 24 week appointment with our obstetrician. It's always enjoyable when the nurse leads you in the back room and has you hop on the scale so you can see how much heavier you've gotten. I think I dread this the most. Intellectually I understand that it's not like I've swallowed a baby and that the weight is needed for the health of the baby, but I still dread it.

It doesn't help when your husband is standing behind you saying the number out loud...when usually the nurse and I just silently nod to each other and it's done and over with.

To-date, I've gained 10 pounds. Which I guess is small in comparison to some expectant mothers at 24 weeks....I just hope I don't gain 20 in the last 16 weeks, which I can see happening! I think the weight hasn't been high because I was sick for so long and couldn't keep anything down....but now that I'm not barfing every day...it seems that the weight will start to pack on and I'm thinking it's going to come in large quantities.

Other than that, baby is good. Heartbeat is strong. I've had some trouble breathing lately due to my asthma and oh, I don't know, a large chest and stomach pressing against my lungs!

16 weeks to go - wow, it's gone by fast. Before we know it our son will be here in our arms and our family will grow in size and hopefully my ass will shrink!

busy, busy, busy

It's been a busy summer for our soon-to-be trio. We've done a lot of driving, travelling and back and forth. I think we've had less than 5 weekends in which we didn't have to at least 2 1/2 hours to some location outside of the city.

And it's been exhausting.

I think I  am in need of a week-long break from summer.

The little guy is  doing well. Lots of kicking to let us know he's around. The husband can now not only feel the kicks, but we can both see the belly move. It gives a little "pop" when he let's us know he's around.

Some interesting things I've realized:

• he definitely reacts to spicy food, I'm not sure if it's to say "ooh, me like that!", or if it's to say "stop feeding me this, can't you tell from m kicking?"
• sleeping on my stomach definitely causes him to let give me a good bump to let me know it's not very comfortable for him
• for some reason my laptop gets him going. I don't know if it's the heat or the pressure on the belly, but there is definitely a reaction (like right now, he's kicking tons!)

And if we're counting, we're down to 16 weeks. I can't believe we've passed the 24 week mark.  It still seems so far away, but it really isn't.

And isn't that a little frightening!

Rolling, Rolling, Rolling

The husband and I received a very generous gift from his parents to buy our stroller for the baby. Now, this is something that you would think would be easy as 1-2-3...but it is in fact not! Everyone has their opinion and every friend, family member or new-mother you talk to has an opinion on what's good, what's bad and what you should buy.

At first, my husband was pretty set on the "three wheel" jogger type stroller. He was sure that it would be ideal for our Canadian winters. He had a definite vision, I kept asking which one of us was actually going to jog with this kid, since neither of us jog that much as we speak...but I digress.

Yesterday we finally ventured out to the big bad world of stores and sales people and looked at strollers. Our first stop was Walmart. I really wasn't impressed with the selection or the fact that the strollers were bolted down so we couldn't even take it off the shelf to move around and see how easy it was to collapse and lift and carry. I mean, I'm barely 5ft tall, so it needs to be something that momma-bear can actually handle.

So, we left Walmart behind and moved on to Babies'r Us. This store definitely had more options and we were able to push, collapse, open, yank, pull on, push on, and attach car seats to. This was where we finally got to see what fit "us". Not what fit my friends lives, our families lives, or the random person from the work cafeteria.

It came down to two strollers. One three wheel, and one four wheel. So we took our "notes" an left the store so we could see what better prices the inter-webs could give us. This morning I happened to see our three-wheel stroller on a used website that was 1/2 price and only six months old! We would just need to buy the car seat to go with it. Finally! A decision....

So once again, we ventured out to Babies r' Us to check out the car seats and which one would work.....but, a very knowledgeable salesperson named Iris happened upon us and everything changed. The more I played with the three wheel stroller the more I realized that it was a little bulky for our tiny car and was difficult to lift when it was folded down....so we turned our sights back to the 4 wheel. And friendly Iris shared some information with us that in 9 days that stroller was going to be $150 cheaper! And it would come with the car seat.

Decision made! We have chosen our stroller/car seat and we're both pretty happy with it. I think the husband is most surprised at how much he liked the 4 wheeled stroller. Not to mention that in 9 days the matching swing goes on sale too! With the savings, we can get that as well!

And there you have it, we're ready to roll!

Picture Time.....

Here we are, protruding at 22 weeks. That little guy has been kicking me in the bladder for the last little while and here is one moment that the husband captured in which I did not have to pee!

Gettin' my Dad on...

What... you thought this blog was entirely about her?

I guess it's undeniable that pregnancy is, to a large extent, felt more by the woman than the man. Probably something to do with that whole baby-in-her-belly thing. So, in some respects, it's a bit of a spectator sport for Dad. Oh yes, we try to be helpful and we mean very well, and we'll even occasionally anticipate something that's needed and pull that off (kudos on that day!), but a lot of the time we can be slightly removed from things.

But that's not to say that we don't have our stuff that we're thinking about or that we are emotionally detached from it all.

So we find out it's a boy. Wow. For having spent weeks each silently convinced that we were having a girl, that was a bit of a surprise. However, I've quickly gotten used to the reality that I'm going to have a son. Which is really great. I mean, I have more GI Joe in my parents house than this boy will ever be able to play with, and he already has a ready-built library of original Hardy Boys books to read (even if I have to re-read them myself for any potential 50s-60s racial insensitivity). But then there's the other stuff like doing more than just playing with him and getting him interested in sports. Stuff like raising a man and making sure he understands the value of doing the right thing.

Is it normal to get a bit overwhelmed by that kind of stuff when baby is still months away?

I'm not what I'd consider old (despite what my younger wife says), but in my mid-30s I'm 8 years older than my father was when he had me, his first child. I wonder if he felt the same way about some of these things. I'll have to ask him sometime. My younger brother had his first child last year and he seemingly transformed from a bit of a goof to a kind of super-dad (much to the disbelief of many), so perhaps it sort of just happens when the time comes. I guess we'll find out.

In the meantime, I'll have to start thinking like Dad and not just like my son's play-friend. Thankfully, Jerry is ready and willing to help me out with that. "Settle down!"

Seinfeld - Children & Parents

The husband and I went to our first baby stores last night. It was quite the experience. I think it was a little overwhelming for the husband because he wasn't as well-informed on the needs of a baby. We headed over to Babies'r Us and set up a registry.

Babies needs tons of stuff! But we managed to add a few things to the registry that we felt were important. I'm sure there are lots of things we aren't even thinking of, but as it stands now, we've at least started moving in the right direction.

We picked up a few very, very adorable outfits that I just can't wait to get the little guy in....

We definitely need to do another picture soon - I feel like we're getting lazy on creating these "memories"!

Getting ourselves well-informed!

The husband and I have been attending a pre-natal class that has given us some information that has been less-than stellar only because some of it is pretty common knowledge (e.g., don`t smoke, don`t drink, don't do drugs etc...) the past two weeks we've gotten to the good stuff.

Videos!

We got to see a couple live births and I have to say they must have picked the quietest women around because those births looked like a walk in the park! The women barely grunted let alone looked like they were in pain and these were natural births!

And our most recent class had us focusing on: boobies! More importantly, breastfeeding. I have to say it was quite the informed movie. I am not exactly "on board" with the breastfeeding until the tyke is 24 months old, (because if he can say "boobie time", I'm a little freaked out) but I certainly understand and agree that breastfeeding is the best option for our little guy. We got to learn technique, tips, latching and all the other fun stuff. I was surprised by how "into it" the husbands in the group seemed. They all had questions and seemed quite interested in the process.

As for me - I hope that I am able to breastfeed. I certainly appreciate its benefits, its convenience and its cost-effectiveness and most importantly I feel it is the best  option for our family. Of course I think that each woman is entitled to her opinion and shouldn't feel guilty if she prefers to use formula, to each their own. Every mother does what they feel is best and I respect that and will expect the same courtesy given to me.

This also means that that I won't be embarrassed to breastfeed my child when he's hungry, if that's in my living room while friends and family are over visiting - then so be it. I'm not afraid to show the boob! It's a natural process, no one gets offended if a dog feeds her puppies and people see it, so they shouldn't be weirded out seeing a "human" doing it. I feel we learned a lot of valuable information that will be a definite asset to the process of mastering breastfeeding.

Hopefully our little squirt takes to it. 

home on rest

I'm home under doc's orders for a couple of days for some much needed rest. The past two/three days I've had some sharp pain in the right side of my abdomen and then I had some spotting. It's my first baby so at times I dont' know what to feel. Am I being overly cautious and thinking the worst over everything? Or is it better to be safe than sorry?

The spotting immediately steered me into "better safe than sorry" mode. This morning I got myself to our mother-baby unit and checked myself in. The staff was great. They took me pretty quickly, hooked me up to some monitors and did some tests.

The baby looks good, lots of fluid and he's moving around a lot...the placenta is high but there may be some signs of stress.

So a few days home to rest is what it is. I feel better having gone....and one silver lining: the nausea is totally subsiding (no puking!) so that's a definite bonus.

Halfway There!

Some days it feels like this pregnancy is taking forever and other days it seems to be flying by. We are now at week 20, the halfway point. I can't believe it. Only 20 weeks remain.

I just had a doctors appointment today who informed me that so far so good! Our ultrasound looked great, our other testing was good and everything was a-okay! This was quite the relief as it felt like our last ultrasound took forever and the technician kept taking pictures of the heart and it started to freak me out. And of course the technician can't tell you anything so I was worried for the last two weeks! But it's all good. The little guy is doing well.

On that note, here are some highlights (and lowlights) of the 1st half of my 1st pregnancy:

• I still remember the day that the husband and I realized we were pregnant, it might have taken 6 (or 8) tests for me to believe it - but I did, and we were super excited and very grateful that we were able to conceive in a relatively short period of time.
• Sharing the news with our families that we were pregnant was a definite highlight. 
• Those first 8 weeks gave me the impression that pregnancy was a breeze. I thought, gee, I don't even feel pregnant - what are women complaining about?
• Then I started to complain.
• Nausea became my biggest foe - and it still is a problem in week twenty, but I am going to listen to all the wives tales that tell me the more nausea equals a healthier, stronger baby!
• Next came heartburn and restless legs/sleep.
• But those tiny flutters that let me know your there is a wonderful experience. 
• Then we found out our wee little baby was a wee little boy
• Now it seems our son is making himself known more and more as the flutters have turned into little kicks and punches and elbows. 
• Names are hard! 
• One of the hardest lowlights is not the nausea or the heartburn, in fact, it's the constant exhaustion. I am tired all the time. 
• Tired, but happy.

 We couldn't be more excited for the next twenty weeks as we get closer and closer to the day we get to meet this little guy. 

Dear Son

Today your father and I found out that we were having a boy. What a special moment that we were able to share. The moment the technician said the magic words..."it's a boy!", I immediately started to cry and said "a boy, Steve, we're having a son!". It was a joyous moment that I will never forget.

I think I speak for both your father and I when I say the pregnancy feels all the more real right now and we are both eager to get to meet you and 20 weeks seems so far away. You are so loved and we could not be any happier. Having just started to feel you moving around inside, I know feel even more connected knowing that my son is the one pressing on my bladder and fluttering about.

I am sure your dad is already thinking about the multitude of things he'll want to teach you and share with you - including his love for sports stats.

Just remember one thing - you may father's son, but you'll be a Habs fan! We'll consider it like a religion and it passes through the mother's blood-line.

Tonight we will get to share this amazing news with your grandparents and aunts and uncles.

We can't wait to meet you and get to know you more as you grow and get ready to come into the world.

Much love,

The Parental Units

Do's and Don'ts at Week 18

Do's and Don't's of Pregnancy at Week 18

• Do get lots of rest, and by lots I mean tons, because you're constantly exhausted
• Don't try to fit your growing ass (and belly) into your skinny clothes - it isn't comfortable for you and I'm pretty sure it's even less comfortable for baby squirt
• Do eat and eat often.
• Don't feel guilty about it
• Do prepare yourself for inappropriate comments about your size, weight and belly shape
• Don't respond to these "comments" by saying "I wouldn't talk, look at your belly and you're not even preggers"
• Do say stuff like that in your head, you'll chuckle to yourself and it will all be worth it.
• Don't be afraid to speak up around smokers, weird belly touchers, close talkers or folks who ask inappropriate questions about how often you pee
• Do let yourself glow
• Do let yourself be pampered by your partner or husband/boyfriend/significant other
• Don't assume a warm bath will stop your back, legs or hips from aching
• Do expect aching. Lots of aching.
• Don't feel guilty for already talking about names
• Do feel excited about your baby

Well, that's it for now - I can only imagine what the next 18 weeks will bring!

It's been a while. I'm waiting for this second trimester of awesome-ness to kick in that every pregnant woman has been raving about.

Well folks, it's going on week 18 and I still feel like crapola. The exhaustion hasn't really gone away, the nausea is still lurking around and I don't think I've yet started to glow.

But the exciting part.....this Friday we find out if we're team blue or team pink! That's exciting...and at least one thing to look forward to.

The husband is away for the week, so I've been solo since Tuesday. I thought I'd get so much done and get organized..but Ottawa has been is a crazy heat wave so I've pretty much just hung out in my basement trying to stay cool.

Pregnant women and 45 degree heat (Celsius!) do not mix. We get overheated, we get uncomfortable and we get cranky. My husband is probably safer so far away :)

When he returns, I'll post some more bump picks ....he's taken the camera with him - but there will be some soon!

flutters? maybe....just maybe

I think I might have started to feel the baby move. I can't really tell. Should I be able to tell? It's kind of a flutter. But it's really hard to explain. If I move or stretch a certain way, I feel something brushing against me....but I can't quite put my finger on it.

I can't wait until I know for sure what/if it is the baby.....it certainly not strong...so it might just be my imagination. I always thought it would be this great moment of "aw, the baby just moved" ....instead it's "um, I think the baby might have just moved, maybe....kinda of, but maybe not".

C'mon little guy- let's get moving.

Speaking of little guy - my SIL (sis-in-law) thinks I am having a boy. So do my parents and just about everyone else. I have no intuition at all. Girl...boy, all I know is it's baby.

15 Weeks!

I am going to be a tank. I cannot believe how huge I am. I'm sure you look at this and think....gee, she looks about 25 weeks pregnant....um, yeah...try 15 weeks.

That's right, this big ole belly is 15 weeks pregnant! Thankfully my ass hasn't grown to the same size of my belly!

Just thought I'd post this up for family who is living away see the progress!

The vomiting hasn't stopped. I'm on some meds that are supposed to help, but sadly haven't. I'm extra tired, extra sore - and it's only just begun. But I was able to see the most perfect newborn today that put all the joy in my heart! And it reminded me that this and everything that surrounds my pregnancy is entirely worth it!

I can't wait for my own little bundle.

either or is fine by me!

I can honestly say I have absolutely NO preference as to whether we're having a boy or girl. This seems to be a popular question that I keep receiving from people. Every time they find out I'm pregnant or can obviously see that I'm pregnant, they inevitably as these questions:

1) Do you know if it's a boy or girl (answer: no, not yet...to early to tell)

2) Which one are you hoping for?

Really? Which one am I hoping for? I'm hoping for healthy. The rest is gravy. A healthy boy, a healthy girl...I'll take both or one. I honestly have no desire to have one more than that other. Maybe this makes me weird. Maybe this makes me an anomaly of baby-mammas to be.

I just don't care.

I care about a lot of things. I care about this baby. I care about the health of this baby, but its gender? Don't care.

Which brings me to one observation...for the mothers that do care and openly discuss how they prefer one over the other - I just keep thinking, that poor little bumble - if it only knew that part of you wished it was someone else - what a horrible feeling it would have.

10 fingers, 10 toes, a healthy heart, organs in all the right places. A active mind and soul.

A boy or girl is the farthest thing from my mind. I already love this little squirt, and it's gender won't change it.

That being said, I can't wait to find out! In a month we should know if we're expecting a son or daughter and I can't wait!

I'll post a new baby bump shot soon! We just took some, but I look super f-ugly in it...so I'll need the husband to take some new ones!

update...in a quick beat.

I've stolen the husband's mac for this post! Not much has been happening lately. I've still been quite sick lately and actually have been losing weight. Who knew all I needed to do to lose some poundage was to get pregnant! If that was the case, I would have tried this ages ago!

But yes, the scale has moved in the wrong direction about 6 pounds. I finally went to the doctor to say that I couldn't keep much down and that pregnant life wasn't the greatest. The doctor prescribed me some pills to help with the nausea and smaller doses of my prenatal and the ever-needed folic acid!

The best part of the doctor visit was that I got to hear the baby's heartbeat! What a great feeling. I'm already an over-concerned mother - I kept asking if it sounded healthy, what the heart rate meant, etc....it was just such a wonderful experience!

I'm hopeful that the meds help and that my meals stay down.....fingers crossed. In 4 weeks we will be able to have our 18 week ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby! How exciting!

Not much else to report, maybe one of these days I'll get my husband to post. He manages to spend enough time on the inter-webs, maybe he can reach out and post so his family can see his point of view!